I’ve been getting lots of emails from people asking what life after divorce is like. From my point, I can’t answer this yet. I can tell you what I’ve seen from other divorced friends, but I’m not living a life after divorce.
I have a friend who, after her divorce, met and married an incredible man. He adopted her daughter, and let’s face it, has been more of a father to the little girl than the bio dad ever was. My friend is happy and successful, and if her divorce had never happened, she would have never ended up with the man she’s with now.
I also have friends that have divorced, and everything fell apart. They are so broken that even after years of being single, they are still trying to put the pieces together.
Divorce is hard, and it’s different for every one.
I went to dinner with some friends of mine, a couple and their two children. I didn’t feel like the fifth wheel because they are awesome at making me feel included. But then the check came, and the waiter asked if we were all together on one check. Before I knew it, the words, “I’m by myself” flew out of my mouth. All of the sudden, I realized that this is my life now…picking up my own checks and hanging out with other couples as “the single friend”. People giving me that “poor-girl-she’s-going-through-a-rough-spell” look and set-ups with guys that have no other commonality with me except they are single.
Why is it that the moment you are single, your friends think pushing you into another relationship will mend things? The truth is, I’m not looking for someone to glue me back together. I’m doing that job quite nicely myself. And I’m not having a rough spell, in my mind. Yes, some hard things are happening, but most nights, I go to bed with a smile on face because I know that finally I can go for my dreams and finally I can be me.
So, I have thought about what life after divorce will look like, what it will make me look like. And I think it will make me look stronger, not a victim. Every day, I am finding myself again, and that is so exciting! Will there be another man in my life? Who knows? But I’m not waiting around for one. Will I ever get married again? Maybe, but I’m not planning a wedding anytime soon. Besides, I will probably go into the next relationship with eyes WIDE open!
But, like we all have to do, I am taking it one day at a time. 🙂